Thoughts on Suicide

Suicide is a very difficult thing to discuss, but it is even more difficult to ignore. One of my classmates told me today that she had been to a funeral earlier for a young person who committed suicide. I too, went to a funeral nearly a year ago for the same reason, so it is on my mind. I would like to take some time today to briefly address two major questions about suicide from a Christian worldview: What is a Christian response to suicide? And how should we as Christians feel about suicide?

Beginning with the response, regardless of feelings, we should express sympathy and love toward the surviving friends and family. No one ought to be more supportive than the Christian community during that time of bitter and terrible grief. If the family has needs, we ought to meet them - food, bills (especially if the person was the breadwinner), encouraging Bible verses, and loving notes. Yet, sometimes we ought to be silent. Like Job's friends during his early days of sorrow, many people who have lost a loved one need someone to sit with them in silence as they grieve.

Oftentimes, as Christians we view suicide as the unforgivable sin. Do not misunderstand me, it is a sin, and the person cannot ask forgiveness for that sin. However, that does not mean that it cannot be forgiven. Assuming that this person was a Christian, then Christ has taken all of their sins, past, present, and future. I am going to make the assertion here that it is possible for Christians get depressed too. (See David Murphy's book "Christians Get Depressed Too). In addition, sometimes for medical reasons Christians become depressed to the point of suicide.

Jesus is more than able to forgive even suicide, because he took that sin on the cross for the believer. The penalty is already paid, just like for every sin a believer has or will commit. I am grateful that Jesus has paid for all of my sins, even those I can't remember! All this to say that suicide is not condemning to hell for those who are in Christ, and as the church we ought not be condemning toward the loved ones of the deceased because there is "no hope."

"Neither death nor life... Can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 If suicide is automatically condemning to hell, then anyone who has ever died as a result of sin is going to hell. Christians ought to recognize that this is, in fact, everyone! "For the wages of sin is death..." Romans 6:23 Suicide is not a "special" sin that cannot be forgiven, and when we talk about it with people, we ought not act as though it were.

Now, for the unbeliever who has committed suicide, our response toward their family should be the same outpouring of love. However, there is greater bitterness here because the person is in hell with no hope of escape. Just like every unbeliever that dies in their sins, unrepentant, and unsaved, this person is in hell.

It is important to note here two things. First, it is not necessary for a Christian to mention this to either a believing of unbelieving family at the loss of their unsaved loved one. Secondly, regardless of the family, most people will deny that their loved one is in hell. It is not the responsibility of the Christian to convince the family of this. Our job is to share the love of the gospel with them and let the Holy Spirit do the revealing work as He wills.

Now, I would like to address the second question posed at the beginning of this post: "How should we as Christians feel about suicide?" The answer to this too depends on the spiritual condition of the deceased. Obviously, one would and should feel heartbreak over the loss of life in general. For the deceased Christian, we have hope to see them again, and hope for peace for them. However, their death should renew in us a desire to be encouraging toward our brothers and sisters in Christ, providing discipleship in order to prevent suicide in the church. Our heartbreak should lead to resolve in this respect. But we should also take heart, because we do not weep as those who have no hope. (1 Thessalonians 4:13)

For the unbeliever, our resolve should also be kindled, but toward a different sort of goal, that is salvation. We ought to look at the loss of a soul as very serious, and that must motivate us to share the gospel with unbelievers everywhere regardless of their mental state. Our friendliness must always be founded on a straightforward and loving presentation of the gospel.

Additionally, in an overarching sense, we must trust God with every situation. The things that happen are not without purpose, and that includes suicide. The devastation that occurs as a result of suicide ought to turn us toward God and His purposes, even when we cannot see the ends of those purposes. We may never know why someone took their own life - each person is unique in their reasons. To expect to understand every aspect of suicide is unreasonable because of this alone... Most of the time we won't ever know, and we probably won't completely understand God's purpose in it either. "The secret things belong to The Lord." (Deuteronomy 29:29)

Many times we find that to be an insufficient answer in the time following a suicide. This is wrong thinking on our part because we are not owed an explanation for everything that happens. Difficult as it is, we have to reorient our hearts in order to accept this. God does, however, say that his grace is indeed sufficient in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) We have to depend on His grace when we do not understand.

I understand that, feelings what they are, it will take time and tears to work through all of these aspects of suicide. I have no doubt that this article has stirred up strong emotions, as many of my readers are sure to be intimately familiar with this topic. My post is not meant to conjure up fear, but rather give hope, encouragement, and peace to broken hearts while still maintaining Scriptural integrity to the best of my ability. I have only barely touched the surface of the topic of depression, grief, and suicide - it is by no means a comprehensive "final word" on the subject.

If my readers feel the need to add to this article, please feel free to comment below. Please be thoughtful and gentle with your comments, as we all sort through this difficult aspect of life. Thank-you.

Sincerely
~Lady Robinson