Heart Checks

One of the things I admire most about my fiance is his desire to communicate with me. He is actually much better at being consistent about communicating then I am, but I'm learning! Toward the beginning of the relationship he started this weird thing called "heart checks", which I wasn't so sure about initially. Basically, he would ask me from time to time (probably every week or two), "How is your heart doing?" "Is there anything you need/want to talk about?" At first, I really didn't know what to say. It was awkward sometimes to actually say what was on my mind, because sometimes it didn't "fit" the context of what was happening around us, or the topic of conversation just discussed.

Even so, we both persevered through the awkwardness until it became natural to discuss anything and everything with each other. Now it isn't so necessary for us to have a "name" for our little discussions, but they still happen all the time.

I wouldn't normally bring up this topic because it often takes a little explanation as to why it wasn't natural for him and I to discuss everything at first. The truth of the matter is that we were set up on basically a blind date, and we really didn't know each other! We had to get to the "meaningful" stage quickly because we both wanted to get married, and if the other person wasn't right for us, we both wanted to know as soon as possible to avoid heartbreak later on. So, the heart checks started once we were sure we wanted to continue the relationship (within the first month of us going out).

It may not be awkward for every couple to do these very purposeful heart checks, but for some people they will feel very "premeditated." Well... they are! I believe in relationship with purpose, but surrounded by love and romance. When my fiance and I do heart checks, it is a display of love with a goal in mind - the other's emotional/spiritual health. We don't have a "specific" time during which we have these special conversations, so in that sense ours are spontaneous, but some couples may need to set aside some time every week to just get to know the other one all over again.

Hearts need attachment, they need love, and they need care on a regular basis. This is oftentimes (not always) the problem with long-distance type relationships. But those of us who live near our significant others (or spouses hopefully with your husband/wife), often become complacent in having that other person around. We assume that they know what is going on in our life, but they may be in the dark about our struggles if we don't share with them what's going on. Neither men nor women are mind readers! Don't take for granted the physical presence of your significant other and expect that they know what's going on in your heart without a clear and honest discussion.

One of the ways in which my fiance and I accomplish regular heart checks is through date night. We try and take time every week to go out and talk, regardless of what we end up doing during that day/night. It may just be sitting around with a cup of tea in the evening and chatting. That certainly qualifies as date night! And it is the perfect setting for sharing your heart with your significant other.

I am so grateful that my love takes time to check on my spiritual health, my emotional health, and everything in between. I'm so glad that he didn't mind the awkwardness that we experienced to achieve the level of emotional intimacy we have today through these heart checks. I hope that every couple gets to experience what we have! And I encourage you to try it if you haven't yet with your significant other. God bless your endeavors!

Sincerely
~Lady Robinson